Even in paradise days can be hard. I expected I would come away and start fresh and everything would be so smooth. But life doesn’t work like that and that may be the biggest lesson I’m learning.
This is my view…….
But I’m not happy today. I feel lonely and frustrated and all over the place with my thoughts.
I’ve left the big island for the weekend and am on Oahu! How lucky am I!
However I’m here and I can only paddle out and not even catch a wave. There are 8 year olds carving up the waves and I can’t do it! I do know it’s ok. I wasn’t a kid surfing so how can I expect in two weeks of surfing that I will be out there in the big stuff!
The passion people have for catching the next “big one” also makes them frustrated to teach a novice. They don’t want to miss out. I get that but ‘hey hey hey help me please’.
So I sit here and realise for nearly 5 weeks I’ve been out of my comfort zone. I’ve been staying in places I make sure I tidy my cup and fold my towel or walk around tip toeing in the eve so I’m not a sloppy house guest. A vast difference from living on your own m… And today this all hit me. I want to leave my dishes out, and washing on the floor! I want to be alone and not speak to another new person, I want a cuddle from my best friend and from my family. I want to drink prosecco!!!
In all my learning though of the three principles I know my low feeling will pass and there is no point fighting it! I know this but need to live it and Just feel it.
“Don’t you see, it is the thought that is the seed, the failure is the form. Without the thought it is virtually impossible to be failure.” Second chance, Sydney Banks
So I do not write this today to have a pity party or for people to feel sorry for me. I write it because it’s real. Life is real. The power of our thought is real wherever we are. We will always be ok.
Just after these reflective moments I took off on a walk, read my book and just swam and enjoyed the water rather than adding the pressure of learning to surf, I started it feel better.
Soon enough the new thoughts came in, so did the new experiences. And so my day is now concluding and I just came in from paddle boarding into the sunset, I even jumped off a big rock which was super scary! I felt great!
And now reflecting on an emotion ridden day, non of it really bad, just emotional, and instead of thinking I wasted the day I really realise it’s all just been the blesssing of being human !